7 Ways to Deal with Narcissistic Tantrums/Rage

Ever heard of “narcissistic rage”? It’s like when someone goes full-on tantrum mode, but instead of being a toddler, they’re a full-grown adult. Crazy, right? These tantrums happen when a narcissist feels like their ego’s taken a hit, whether they’re feeling challenged, embarrassed, or just plain powerless.

Now, there’s no magic wand to wave away these episodes, but fear not! We’ve got a whole arsenal of tactics up our sleeves to help you deal with a narcissistic rage blowout like a seasoned pro. So buckle up, because we’re diving deep into the art of handling these fiery situations with finesse.

What Is Narcissistic Rage?

Narcissistic rage isn’t your run-of-the-mill anger. It’s a whole different beast. Unlike regular rage, it’s not just about losing your cool; it’s about protecting a fragile ego.

Picture this: a narcissist’s sense of self-worth gets threatened, and bam! You’ve got yourself a recipe for narcissistic rage. Sometimes it’s like a volcano erupting, other times it’s an eerie silence that’s just as chilling. Either way, it’s all tied up with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Now, here’s the scary part: narcissistic rage isn’t just about blowing off steam. It’s a calculated move, a way for them to patch up their shattered self-image. And believe me, they’ll stop at nothing to rebuild it, even if it means crossing some seriously dangerous lines.

Dealing with a narcissist at the NPD level? Brace yourself, because it’s like tiptoeing through a minefield. You gotta know the triggers: rejection, neglect, criticism—they’re like kryptonite to these folks. Why? Because it’s like pulling back the curtain on their carefully crafted facade, revealing the raw, vulnerable truth underneath.

See, beneath all that bluster, narcissists are fragile souls. They cling to this idea of perfectionism to prop themselves up, to shield themselves from the harsh realities of the world. So when rejection comes knocking—be it in relationships or in the boardroom—it hits ’em where it hurts the most.

But here’s the kicker: what they really crave isn’t just acceptance; it’s worship. They want to be put on a pedestal, showered with praise and attention. So when you deny them that, when you refuse to play along with their little charade, well, let’s just say you’re in for a wild ride.

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7 Ways To Deal With Narcissist Tantrums

Silence Speaks Volume:

Narcissists thrive on attention, especially during a tantrum. So, the more you feed into it, the more they’ll keep dishing out those rage episodes. But here’s the kicker: deprive them of that attention, and you might just see those tantrums fizzle out quicker. It’s like denying fuel to a fire—it’ll eventually burn itself out. So, do yourself a favor and give them the silent treatment next time. Who knows? They might even decide to wrap up their little drama show sooner. And hey, even if they don’t, at least you won’t have to endure the entire spectacle.

Keep Calm and Carry On:

Think of it like taking a step back, but with an added twist that leaves the narcissist hanging without even a nibble of satisfaction from your departure. Instead, opt for the silent treatment while standing your ground, showing them you’re not about to play their game or validate their outburst with your attention.

One way to do this is to mentally check out, focusing on a mundane task like tidying up or practicing yoga while letting your thoughts drift far away from the chaos unfolding around you.

If they attempt to draw you back in by incessantly calling out your name or raising their voice, resist the urge to react. Instead, maintain your composure and deliver a simple, assertive message such as, “I won’t engage with this behavior.” Then, return to your state of indifference.

Balancing Empathy and Boundaries:

When a narcissist hits their rage mode, they’re not just putting on a show. Those feelings of being challenged, embarrassed, or powerless? They’re real, believe it or not. It’s crucial to acknowledge that.

But—and here’s the kicker—we can’t just nod along and excuse their over-the-top reaction. Nope, that’s a big no-no. So, it’s time to lay down the law, folks.

“Hey, I get it. Losing sucks, especially when you’re used to being on top. But throwing things and spewing venom? Not cool. Let’s keep it in check, okay?”

Asserting Yourself and Owning Your Voice:

In the heat of a narcissist’s rage, it might seem like they’re suffocating or overpowering you, leaving no room for your perspective. But instead of getting sucked into their whirlwind, take a deep breath and assert yourself calmly.

“I have every right to voice my thoughts on this matter, and I anticipate you’ll respect that by giving me the opportunity to do so.”

Communicating the Consequences of Rage

Narcissists often have a tough time linking their behavior to negative outcomes. But if you can help them see this connection, it might rein in their tantrums. Keep your approach straightforward, avoiding personal attacks.

“You know, Joey and Laura decided to stop hanging out with us because of these episodes. I’m worried we might lose all our friends if things don’t change.”

Actions Have Consequences:

The link between their actions and the consequences must be unmistakable; they need to understand exactly what will happen as a result of their behavior. Equally crucial is your commitment to follow through on your words. If consequences are established but not enforced, the narcissist will perceive it as an empty threat and continue their disruptive behavior unchecked.

“I want to make this crystal clear: if you hurl hurtful words at me like that again, it’s game over for our relationship. No ifs, ands, or buts.”

How to Recharge After a Narcissistic Tantrum:

Dealing with a narcissistic tantrum can really drain you emotionally. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions—anger, sadness, confusion, you name it. But here’s the deal: prioritize self-care, my friend.

First off, reach out to a trusted friend. Find someone who’s a great listener and spill your guts. Let yourself vent, express those feelings, and soak up their empathy and support. It’s like hitting the emotional reset button.

Next up, practice gratitude. Yeah, I know, it’s hard to feel thankful when you’re knee-deep in narcissistic drama. But try jotting down a list of things you’re grateful for—could be five, could be ten. Make it a daily thing, and watch how it shifts your perspective over time.

And hey, don’t underestimate the power of therapy. While getting a narcissist to see a therapist is like pulling teeth, therapy can be a game-changer for you. A good therapist will help you uncover personalized coping strategies to navigate the stormy seas of dealing with a narcissist.


Narcissism spans a wide spectrum of emotions and behaviors, with varying degrees of intensity. While we all exhibit some narcissistic traits, individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) take it to another level. It’s crucial not to let NPD individuals off the hook for their narcissistic rage, and this article provides tips to help you navigate such situations.

You don’t have to tolerate it; you deserve peace and security in your life.

If you’ve found these insights helpful, we encourage you to delve deeper into understanding narcissism. While you may already be familiar with someone exhibiting narcissistic traits, expanding your knowledge on narcissism can pave the way for healthier interactions.

Don’t halt your quest here; I implore you to persist in seeking stability, safety, and well-being when dealing with narcissism.

Read more about Effective Narcissist Text Replies


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